‘Til Death Do Us Part

Posted by Bob Weber on Aug 2nd, 2006 in Humor, Sex & Dating | 0 comments

So what’s the deal with weddings? Why are they so boring? We read stories and watch movies where all these romantic types come barging in at the last minute to stop the ceremony, professing never ending love. When does this happen in real life? Where are the scandals? Where are the shotguns? Why doesn’t the bride ever leave the Groom ‘at the altar’? I’ve been to literally hundreds of weddings in my life and I have seen a scandal exactly 0 times.

The closest I ever came to seeing a scandal was when one of the groomsmen locked his knees and passed out. It was tragic, and kind of funny later, but not scandalous at all. Seems like these days there’s just not any good drama in a wedding. Sure, there’s the whole crazy mother/bridezilla thing, but the bride and groom always manage to stand up there and say I Do.

Maybe that’s the real problem here. Maybe saying ‘I Do’ is just too easy. These days everybody even writes their own vows. How silly is that, of course I’m going to agree to something I wrote. It’s almost meaningless – kind of like signing a confession at the police station. I think there should be a new custom. Rather than writing your OWN vows, you should write the vows for your partner.

The groom could write vows for the bride that were something like

I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my husband: to have and to hold, from this day forward. as long as we both shall live. And hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness to always keep the house clean and never vacuum during Monday Night Football.

And the bride could provide something along the lines of

I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. I pledge to you I will never leave the toilet seat up and promise to generate at least a 10% annual increase in overall revenue for the family as long as we both shall live.

How much more interesting would this make weddings. In fact, to support this initiative, and keep things hopping until it catches on, if you have upcoming nuptials you should just slip a couple extra lines into the vows. I’m betting you could get your future spouse to agree to all kinds of crazy stuff if you spring it on her during the ceremony. Just give the preacher and extra $20 and get a perpetual right to flirt with Suzy down at the bank for the rest of your life (or at least until the annullment papers show up).

Cover girl

Posted by Bob Weber on May 19th, 2006 in Humor, Sex & Dating | 0 comments

Model Veronica Varekova is upset about Maxim magzine using her photo on their cover. Maxim licensed the photo from Corbis Outline for use in their magazine but did not have Ms. Varekova’s permission to use it on the cover. Veronica has consistently turned down covers of men’s magazines, and is upset Maxim put her on the cover without telling her.

I am a Maxim subscriber, and when I recieved this month’s magazine I knew something funny was up with the article on Veronica Varekova. Anyone familiar with Maxim knows that they typically do a large interview with their cover girls, generally several pages of Q&A. The article on Veronica had about 5 quotes scattered through the layout. No Q&A and the same content was repeated twice in the article. It was fairly obvious that either Veronica was really dull (which is doubtful since she’s trilingual and has two degrees) or she never actually did a photo shoot/interview with Maxim.

My guess is this is all a publicity stunt for Maxim. They figure the ‘exposure’ will be worth the lawsuit.

Close your eyes

Posted by Bob Weber on Apr 3rd, 2006 in Sex & Dating | 2 comments

Saw an article on an interesting study about sex and teenagers today. Appearantly the media is to blame for promiscuity among teenagers.

Now to be honest, I think it’s more the interpretation of the results than the results themselves that bother me. The study appears to say that kids that watch more sexually suggestive material are the same kids that have sex at a younger age. The question is, which is the cause, or are both just common traits of teenage behaviour.

The real issue here is the current trend of promiscuity in teenagers. This study seems to be just another smokescreen for the real issue. The problem has more to do with relationships than it does sex. Today’s kids are the product of a generation that was raised with one of two attitudes.

1. Sex is great, do whatever you want just wear a condom.
or
2. Sex is evil. Don’t date, just be friends and hang out in groups.

Neither group did a good job of teaching kids how to socialize, how to form relationships, how to date and ultimately how to properly have sexual relationships. Until the last 40-50 years parents in the US and previously European cultures have had a significant role in not only teaching their children about relationships, but helping those children find suitable mates. In the last several decades parents have been pushed out/avoided that role. Sadly, the result is a bunch of adults in their 20s and 30s that are now either afraid to commit, completely unskilled at having any kind of relationship or just completely disillusioned about being vulnerable to anyone about anything.