The post as been taken down, but you can view it at Literally Unbelievable who archives posts that take The Onion seriously. One commenter posted:

The Onion is satire. How exactly did you get elected?

That may be a little harsh, even savvy longtime twitterer Ashton Kutcher makes mistakes.

During a conversation with ESPN Radio yesterday Goodell made these comments about the Pro Bowl

“I really didn’t think that was the kind of football that we want demonstrating to our fans,” Goodell said. “The fans were actively booing in the stands. They didn’t like what they were seeing.”

For the last couple of years it’s become obvious that Goodell really wants the Pro Bowl to turn a profit. Since 1980 the Pro Bowl was held in Honolulu at the Aloha Stadium on the week after the Super Bowl. For 30 years it was basically a paid vacation for the best players in the league. In a quest to line the NFL coffers even more, the league (Goodell) has decided to tinker with the game. The first change was to move the game to the week between the conference championships and the Super Bowl, this means that many of the best players, those on the Super Bowl teams, won’t participate. The other move was to play the game in Miami who was hosting the 2010 Super Bowl. Moving the game must not have panned out because in 2011 it was back in Hawaii.

The bottom line here is nobody cares. No serious fan even wants to watch the Pro Bowl. It’s at the end of a 6 month season where anyone who is a big fan has likely watched hundreds if not thousands of hours of football. By this time everyone is looking forward to getting acquainted with their wives and children again.

Goodell’s mantra has been player safety for the last couple years. He’s handed down fines liberally and changed the rules to protect players. Now he is making threats to try and increase the competitiveness of a game that is absolutely meaningless, increasing the chances of a player getting injured.

The league can’t get rid of the game, it would just be wrong. The big thing about the Pro Bowl isn’t the game itself, it’s getting selected. If you eliminate that are you going to go to some other ‘all star’ program? Are we going to lose the prestige of having a player that’s been to the Pro Bowl multiple times? Is that recognition going to go away? The NFL makes good money, and I’m sure the ticket prices for the 50,000 people that actually watch the Pro Bowl more than offsets the cost of flying the players out and having the game. These guys give their whole lives to the sport, just let them have a weekend in Hawaii where they don’t get hurt and stop making so much noise about it. Stop trying to squeeze an extra nickel out of every event the NFL has, it’s petty and makes the league seem greedy. And most of all, stop expecting any of us to watch more meaningless games.

Oil Subsidies

“We have subsidized oil companies for a century. That’s long enough. It’s time to end the taxpayer giveaways to an industry that’s rarely been more profitable, and double-down on a clean energy industry that’s never been more promising.” – Barack Obama, 2012 State of the Union address

Obama’s position has always been anti-big oil. During his Presidential campaign he promised to take the profits from the oil companies and redistribute them to all of us.

Obama and Biden will enact a windfall profits tax on excessive oil company profits to give American families an immediate $1,000 emergency energy rebate to help families pay rising bills. This relief would be a down payment on the Obama-Biden long-term plan to provide middle-class families with at least $1,000 per year in permanent tax relief.

https://my.barackobama.com/page/content/newenergy_more

Of course, we all hate big oil (unless we work for them or are a shareholder) just like we hate any company that makes billions of dollars in profit every year from us. Does our hate and envy justify removing oil subsidies? Keep in mind that oil subsidies are not just a big gift we give to big oil. Subsidies are designed to help oil companies explore and create new oil sources domestically and to keep the price of gas down at the pump. Removing oil subsidies could quite possibly increase gas prices and reduce domestic production. This is certainly something that should be explored, but could possibly be better implemented when we have a stronger economy.

Overseas Job Loss

“We can’t bring back every job that’s left our shores…. Tonight, my message to business leaders is simple: Ask yourselves what you can do to bring jobs back to your country, and your country will do everything we can to help you succeed.” – Barack Obama, 2012 State of the Union address

Job creation isn’t something that should be approached with hand wringing and begging. Businesses send jobs overseas for one reason, it’s cheaper. Labor is cheaper and there is less regulation. Fortunately our government has a way around this, it’s called a Tariff. The trend for the last 60 years or so has been toward ‘free trade’. Why? Several reasons, prior to 1913 tariffs were the way the US government generated most of it’s revenue. After the Sixteenth Amendment passed, Income Tax started to take over as the primary revenue source. In the 30s and 40s the US was a manufacturing powerhouse, and tariffs caused problems with the products we exported. Rich Americans wanted imported goods at a cheap price, so we started moving toward free trade. Unfortunately manufacturing moved overseas as well, labor laws and regulation increased costs here and employment dropped. Increasing tariffs is a risky proposition, it will certainly make big corporations like Apple angry, and it will raise the price of consumer goods, but it shouldn’t have impact of common costs of living like heat, water, electricity, phone service, Internet and housing, plus it would be a new revenue stream for the government.

Sometimes there are simple reasons and solutions to our economic problems, but they aren’t popular, so they don’t get the attention they deserve. Instead we get hollow promises and recycled, but failed, plans.

Spooners Frozen Yogurt in Fort Collins

The purchase went great, but the first snag was that they didn’t send the deal out right away. I bought it on a Friday and for some reason they didn’t deliver the deal until the following Monday. This restriction was included in the fine print, but didn’t really feed my need for instant gratification the way the Internet is supposed to. Of course, by Monday the purchase was forgotten and didn’t come back to mind until I received a notification about my voucher on the following Wednesday (remember, this was supposed to go to my friend).

So today, 10 days after my initial purchase, I asked my friend about it. He never did see an email about the Fro Yo, so I tried to forward him the notification I had received. He wasn’t able to log in and access the voucher, so I sent him my email and password so he could get the coupon.

After all this, I thought I would send an email to Seize the Deal support and see what they said. Initially an Out of Office notification was sent out, they only have support from 8am – 5:30pm CST Monday through Thursday. The request was sent out at 12:30pm on Monday, it was MLK Day so maybe Seize the Deal keeps Banker/Government hours. Surprisingly, only 3 minutes later a real response was sent offering to forward the link to my friend. This course of action had already been pursued and I informed support of that as well as informing them that I just sent him my login and password so he could get his Voucher.

Seize the Deal’s response?

“Very good – Glad you were able to get it to him.”

Really? No Apology? No explanation of how this is supposed to work? No link to an FAQ for people who don’t get their Vouchers? Nope, just a “Very Good”.

I’ve spent a couple hours trying to figure out how to get a voucher for $5 in free Fro Yo and Seize the Deal doesn’t care. I think next time I’ll just skip it and just pay full price for the yogurt, it will be cheaper.

I’m not sure I agree completely, really, Zombieland only makes number 86, but looks like he has some great pics in there. A few of my favorites made the list, Frailty (2002), Dawn of the Dead (2004) and The Ring (2002). A few I didn’t care for, Event Horizon (1997) and Sunshine (2007). Some he missed, including the new remake of Fright Night (just watched that and thought it was fantastic).

Best of all, there’s a few I haven’t seen, including his number one pick 1408.

I encourage you to check out the list and see what you think.

My first exposure to Calvin & Hobbes was in the pages of the Johnstown Breeze, for some reason the Johnstown paper carried the comic before the Loveland Paper did, and my Mom kept her mail subscription of the Breeze just so I could enjoy Calvin. Calvin’s snowmen were always witty and fun – now Jim Frommeyer and Teague Chrystie have recreated Calvin’s winter antics in video format.

I was born in Denver in the summer of 1977. By the time I was six years old, John Elway had signed on to be the Bronco’s new quarterback. This is also around the time when my earliest memories were starting to form. So for years upon years, fifteen to be exact, this Colorado Native has seen more number seven jerseys than she can possibly count. The Orange Crush was everywhere I looked; there was no escaping it. The old Mile High Stadium sat proudly off to the west of interstate 25, and Coloradoans were hooked on Elway and their orange and blue.

Unfortunately, as a child and teenager, I had absolutely no interest in anything that had to do with sports –especially football. I loathed Sunday afternoons around my house. Once we got home from a two-hour church service, my dad (a transplant from the state of Pennsylvania and huge Bronco fan) would flip on the only television my family owned. For the next three hours he monopolized the family room with total Bronco mania.

I would occupy those three hours in any possible way that I could, mostly just to get away from all the noise. That usually meant hopping on my bicycle and riding over to a friend’s house, or in my later teen years, taking off in my car and going anywhere else. By the time Elway retired in May of 1999, I was 22 years old and a journalism student at Colorado State University. Once again, my attentions were anywhere but football.

It’s Tebow Time in Colorado

So why is this self professed football “avoider” writing about a subject she obviously knows little about? Well, it all has to do with a guy named Tim Tebow. Being that I am still living in Colorado to this very day, I am finding that once again I can’t turn on the local news stations, open a local newspaper, or even look at my Facebook wall without hearing about the “Mile High Messiah”.

The various stories usually consist mostly of Tebow’s religious displays on the field, coined as “Tebowing.” Then the debate begins over his ability to run and throw the ball, but the life span of all of this Tebowmania really depends on, once again, hearing more about Elway. Especially now that Elway has been named the executive vice president of the football operations for the Denver Broncos. Will Elway name Tebow as the new starting quarterback for the next season? More importantly, will Elway make Tebow our new franchise quarterback? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

All things aside, it is very apparent to me that Tebow, like Elway, has officially become a new household name, not only in Colorado, but also across the nation. He has reached the platform of fame, and from what I hear he already sells more of his number fifteen jerseys than any other rookie out there.

Andrew Hall, an implant dentist who practices in Colorado Springs, is a huge Tebow fan, and his connection to Tebow stems back to his dental school days at the University of Florida. “I’ve followed him from when he was recruited out of Nease High School” said Hall. “When I was finishing up dental school, he was just finishing up high school. We knew who he was in the state of Florida, and we knew his recruitment very well. It was either Alabama or Florida.”

According to Hall, Tebow was already a rock star the day he showed up at UF, so when he came to the NFL, it was sort of the same thing. “He just has that magnetic personality and there’s just something about him that people are intrigued by.” Hall said. “People either love him or hate him, but I think by far you’ll find that people really love him.”

With all the buzz over this 24-year-old football star, it is clear to me that Tebowmania in Colorado is here to stay, and I should just get used to it, well at least for the next month or two. The Denver Broncos play the Patriots this Sunday. Maybe I’ll watch and see what all the hype is about, and maybe this Tebow guy can turn this football “avoider” into a fan.

Sara Pollock writes for e-Marketing Partner and is a football “avoider”

Because there is so little empirical data surrounding the topic, it is difficult to nail down a real nationwide trend. Some areas, like the De La Guerra Plaza in Santa Barbara, CA, have seen gentrification pick up. According to Dr. Mark Weiser, a Los Angeles Sleep Apnea Dentist who has an office 8 blocks away from the De La Guerra Plaza, the change is a good one.

“They kind of let it go,” he said. “They’re sprucing it back up. It’s a pretty area; so I’m happy they’re doing it. It got to be the kind of place where a lot of the homeless people were hanging out.”

Like many business owners, Weiser sees the gentrification of the area as a benefit to the community; but while De La Guerra Plaza in Santa Barbara appears to be enjoying a consistent renewal, other areas are seeing gentrification slow and even pause. According to Los Angeles Times Architecture Critic Christopher Hawthorne, the downtown L.A area has paused at an opportune moment.

Downtown L.A. was on the fast track to gentrification and saw a tripling of the population from 2000-2008; but when the economy turned down in 2008, the process slowed and then paused. It is an interesting case study, because it has not completed the process – which many see as a negative thing – but rather has paused in what others see as a perfect medium. Rent and costs are still affordable enough for lower-earning people to maintain their lives in the area; but there is also a new feel that has brought in more businesses and higher earners.

Denver, Colorado has also seen its fair share of gentrification in the past decade. Local developer, Kyle Zeppelin of Zeppelin Development has been involved in many development projects throughout Denver. According to him, his company’s niche is in reusing Denver’s old urban and industrial core by utilizing buildings and land.

Forbes recently gathered a panel of experts on the subject to gain insight into the issue, and the results were interesting. The experts looked at the issue from the housing crash perspective and seem to believe that gentrification will not slow down on the national scale. They do, however, see specific locations affected in different ways.

Pat Lashinsky of Zipreality.com does not see gentrification slowing down because of other factors that are playing into it. According to him, his company has seen buyers place more importance on closer-to-work locations and reduced commute times, which has only encouraged demand for gentrified areas.

Michael Feder of Radar Logic agrees that gentrification isn’t entirely dependent on the economy. According to him, demographic growth toward the center city is the true driving force behind gentrification, because lower cost neighborhoods offer a good opportunity for development to satisfy the resulting demand for housing.

The current economy is affecting gentrification as a whole, but in different ways. One geographic location sees gentrification grow, while another sees it come to a halt. If you’re investing, moving, or interested in what is going on in your neighborhood, be sure to do your homework.

Ty Humphries writes for Off-Topic Media. Special thanks to Los Angeles sleep apnea dentist, Dr. Mark Weiser and Kyle Zeppelin of Zeppelin Development for taking time to speak with us. Photo by XF Law.

Heck, he even has a set of Official Rules just like on a bag of Doritos. Once he’s done raffling off a fancy supper like he’s some kind of teen pop star I’m sure he will make a big deal about how thousands of grassroots contributors donated to his campaign.

The most awesome thing? By law you don’t have to make a purchase to win! That means there is a form where you can sign up for dinner with Barack Obama for FREE!

I encourage everyone to go to
http://www.barackobama.com/page/dinner-with-barack-sept-signup
and sign up to win a dinner with the President!

Riding the waves off the coast of Oahu is not just for surfers. Stand-up paddling is becoming a well loved alternative to surfing for tourists looking for an adventure. Known as stand-up paddling, SUP, paddle surfing, and stand up paddle boarding, this newer water sport is a great way to catch the waves and have a good time on vacation.

Dr. Mark Weiser, a Los Angeles dentist and SUP enthusiast explained SUP to me and it sounds sublimely simple. “It’s a form of surfing where you’re standing up, but you’re using a paddle the whole time.”

This new surfing technique creates an adventure like no other, and is becoming a new favorite sport among those looking for ocean fun and excitement.

Why Stand-Up Paddling?

Stand-up paddling is much more than just standing on an over-sized surfboard and paddling it like a canoe. “SUPing” is a wonderful way to get a complete workout on the body while enjoying the view of your island resort or coastal surroundings.

“With surfing you sit down, you stand up and ride a wave, but with SUP, you’re working your core the whole time because you’re balancing and paddling the whole time, so it’s more of a workout,” Dr. Weiser says.

Paddling while standing straight up works out the arms and full torso of the body, as these SUPers paddle to push their full body weight across the water, oftentimes work against the current. After a morning of stand-up paddling, don’t be surprised if you feel exhausted and sore, especially if you’ve never tried the sport before.

SUP enthusiasts also enjoy stand-up paddling for the endless possibilities out on the waves. “With the paddle, verses hand paddling, you can be a little further out and catch the waves easier,” Dr. Weiser comments. “I use it as a form of surfing.” Stand-up paddling can be used in the thick of the ocean waves or on calm waters, allowing water enthusiasts to see what they couldn’t while laying on a surf board. They can experience wonderful views of sea life, the horizon, and anything else not normally seen from under the umbrella on the beach.

Get Paddling

Getting started with stand-up paddling requires purchasing or renting a board, paddle, possibly a personal flotation device (PFD), and sunscreen if needed. “You can get a used board and paddle for six to eight hundred dollars. It’ll go up to the three thousand range for a custom surf board,” Dr. Weiser says.

It is also important to dress for the weather appropriately before heading to the coast. Wet suits are the norm for any type of water sport as they keep the body insulated and prevent hypothermia, but with stand-up paddling wet suits don’t need to be the only option. “I’m in Southern California so, we only wear wet suits in the winter time,” Dr. Weiser comments. “Otherwise you’re just trunking it because, remember, you’re on top of the water the whole time. You’re not dangling in the water, so you’ll actually be a little warmer.” Clothing such as swim suits or t-shirts and shorts are easier to maneuver in and will not weigh you down if wet.

After renting the equipment and dabbing the sunscreen on your nose, it’s time to hit the waves and experience the beauty of the ocean while standing right on top of it. But when is the best time to jump into the water, board in hand? SUPers like Dr. Weiser gauge their trips by weather just as surfers do, but because he is standing rather than laying on his stomach he figures the weather factors into his trip a bit more than it may for surfers. “Afternoons get windy, so it’s a better sport in the morning,” Dr. Weiser says. “You want the water to be smoother and flatter than choppy and windy.”

Stand-up paddling is the experience of a lifetime for those looking for a fun water adventure during their vacations. They can view the ocean in a new light and even feel like they are walking on water at any time, and still catch those awesome waves while making surfers jealous. So get out there and SUP!

Shanna Laub writes for Off-Topic Media. Thanks to Dr. Mark Weiser for sharing with us about his hobby. When he’s not paddling, Dr. Weiser is treating snoring and sleep apnea at on of his two offices in either Santa Barbara or Los Angeles. He can be reached at:

Mark T Weiser DDS
1511 State Street
Santa Barbara, CA 93101
805-899-3600